My mind is a muddle.

old fears, new hopes, half-formed dreams and vauge impressions, along with the occasional sinful urge and random memory, all competing for the spotlight of conscious thought, while the rest of the crowd mills around backstage waiting for their turn and quietly muttering to themselves.

I can't think straight anymore. It gets to be too much sometimes, particularly when I'm tired. I have trouble even figuring out why I'm so pissed off, and I'm just left with the distant-feeling, slowly simmering anger.

Maybe I'm mad at myself.

can't say for sure.

Life for me is complicated again. Just when I think I have things figured out, something new will pop up to remind me that reality is always more of a hassle than I ever expected. Well, it's not always something new--sometimes something old will resurface, a problem I thought was fixed, or dead and buried, or irrelevant. It's hard to say what is going to set me off next.

Not that I ever really get mad. I think I've only been really mad 3 times in my life. The rest of the time I alternate between mildly irked and plain pissed off. Right now I'm pissed and I'm not even sure why.

I need more time to sort through the stuff that is still bouncing around inside my skull. It's a mess in there.