I used to joke with friends, "Yeah, the novel isn't going anywhere. I write, but all I have to show for it are six first chapters..."

make that eight. The one I was working on yesterday, and the one I wrote this afternoon. it's not a lost cause. Some of those first chapters may end up as chapter 2, or chapter 5, but still, starting over feels like a loss.

I feel confident that this is a good start. But I've felt that before. Maybe I should admit I don't know what I'm doing, skip the beginning, and try writing from (say) chapter 10 on. I don't know. damn novel...

I need to lay off the coffee. I've been up for 18 hours now, and I'm still not really sleepy. the last cuppa I had was something like 10 hours ago, but I have this bad habit of ordering large (venti... what in the hell is a venti anyway?) cups of iced coffee from starbucks.

I suppose I'll crash eventually. I was going to get up early tomorrow, take care of the sort of crap you can only get done on your days off, but I won't be inclined to do so if I can't get to sleep soon.

I don't even drink coffee all that often, maybe only twice a week or so. Is that my problem? Not enough caffiene, rather than too much-- if I had it daily I might have built up a tolerance by this point.

As long as I'm up I suppose I could figure out something constructive to do tonight. Maybe some graphics work?

Simple ingredients sometimes inspire you. I must have at least 5 different ways I like to cook chicken and rice. This one is more of a chicken soup/stew.

zero to eating in about 2 hours.

shop:
- most of one whole chicken
- and... rice. hence the name of the recipe.
- bouillon or chicken stock.
- a bit of olive oil might come in handy
- as will some butter
- and your veggies. I usually use a one pound bag of frozen mixed vegetables. Stir fry style can get interesting, but it's usually broccoli-carrots-cauliflower or something similar. Tonight was carrots-cauliflower-snowpeas.

hardware: a good knife. a large bowl. a big ass pot: a large, heavy skillet/roasting pan would do the trick, or a soup pot. Or a big wok, whatever, it just has to hold at least a gallon of stuff without boiling over. A lid for same would be nice.

recommended beer: This dish is poultry, it's light, it's savory... A wheat beer (with lemon) would do the trick. Or Guinness, but you knew I'd say that.

lab procedures:

Cook your rice. About a cup to a cup and a half of uncooked rice, which will yield 2-3 cups of cooked rice. Directions are on the pack. (How much rice do you really need? O.k., I'll say 3 cups of cooked rice. Rice is cheap.) Throw some butter in and stir it around a bit, and then toss it in the fridge. The rice comes later.

You can buy your whole chicken already cut into pieces, which is good, or you can save a few bucks and parse the chicken yourself. I'm not qualified to teach you how to dismember wildlife, but those who don't feel like proceeding without guidance might want to check here. (that's a link to a episode transcript for Good Eats starring Alton Brown.) Got dismembered poultry yet? o.k., moving on.

Take the chicken breasts and toss them in the freezer. That's going to be dinner some other night. Get a skillet (or roaster, or wok) going over medium high heat. Salt and pepper the remaining chicken bits (legs, thighs, and wings, for those of you trying to keep score at home) and then give them a browning in a bit of oil. Five or ten minutes to a side, something like that. (And you may notice that chicken legs seem to have three, not two sides. strange but true.)

Done browning? Pull out the chicken and set it aside on a plate. Don't worry about bits sticking. That's good flavor. And of course it's not done cooking yet. Start by pouring off the excess oil/chicken fat from your pan. Deglaze the pan with a little water, which means stirring over low heat until you loosen those tasty bits stuck to the bottom of the pan. You can put that chicken back in the pan now.

It's time for chicken stock if you got it, bouillon cubes if you don't. (directions for mixing bouillon are on the side of the package.) We're looking for enough liquid to just cover the chicken. Usually it's about three cups, sometimes four, depends on the pot, and on the chicken.

And you bring that back up to heat... and you wait. We're going to simmer this for an hour. It's not as much work as you think. Set it to low heat, cover, and just check up on it every now and then. Turn your chicken parts after a half hour, so the tops that were just above the water line get a solid dunking too. If you have a roaster, or something else that will sit in the oven, you can do it that way-- place the whole thing in a 200 degree oven and let it go, peeking in to turn the chicken, and that's about it. You can even do this in an electric skillet, if that's all you've got, though most of those are a bit small for what comes next.

If it cooks for more than an hour-- fine. If it looks like you should add water-- add water. If the chicken looks like it's about to fall apart when you pull it out-- excellent.

After the long simmer, pull the chicken out. Put it on a plate to cool. That's going to take it a little while, so let's turn to something else:

The pan has that lovely stuff the chicken was simmering in. Thicken it with a bit of flour or corn starch. (...for the novice: mix a slurry of roughly 3 tablespoons flour/corn starch with a cup of water. Use a fork, a whisk, whatever. I use a martini shaker-- no lumps, guaranteed. Add the slurry to thicken your broth). Bring this concoction to a boil, and then add your rice and your veggies. Just dump the frozen veggies in; they'll thaw. You could add some italian parsley to this too, if you were feeling fancy.

The rice, which in the fridge has turned into that sticky mass we all remember from school cafeterias, will take a while to settle in. The starch that makes this sticky will also help thicken our dish, once it heats back up. And the vegetables will need to cook. And the chicken...

O.k., back to the chicken. It's still hot. No really, I'm not kidding. At some point we're going to tear the meat off the bone, but be careful. As soon as you bust those thighs open, you'll see what I mean. I usually give the parts a rough tear, to expose some of the insides to the cooling air, and then go run my burning fingers under cold water. You'll figure out your own tricks. Discard the bones, skin, fatty chunks, cartilage, and any chickeny bits you can't identify.

Now that it's off the bone, tear the chicken meat into bite sized chunks. Toss those back in the pot, which at this point has something like a gallon and a half of stuff in it. Stir well, bring it to a sort of boil, and we're done.

This will probably feed 4 people, well. With leftovers for lunch. Actually, the leftovers for lunch are the reason I cook it. It's good with day-old/stale bread (french bread, sour dough, old dinner rolls) which you can soak in the soup.

You can also use a less soupy version of this as the filling to a chicken pot pie. (without the rice) (if you feel like going to all that trouble ...didn't think so.) And your sick friends will probably appreciate some of this, too.

yes, *I* know I've used that phase as a title for a previous post but I really doubt you knew that. until I told you, that is.

So many little things occur to me each day. Every now and then I get what must surely be a million dollar idea, but it's surrounded by so many others it's hard to be sure which is the good one.

I do keep notes. But I don't always write things down. or not the important things. Quite a few notes are about stuff I should do at work, or quick reminders about life (birthdays, who I need to call, who I need to write, who I should go visit, that kind of thing). There's also a running thread about the novel--plot ideas, character notes, details for settings or scenes. My notebook (it's a Moleskine. this is the best notebook that'll fit in your pocket. I swear by them. US site. UK site. We also sell these at B&N, so I get my employee discount) (topic? oh yes...) My notebook is also tabbed, so I can quickly turn to a phone list or calendar. Not that I'm organized or anything--in fact the opposite is true. The notebook is a last bastion of order in an otherwise very messy life. It actually took me a while to retrain myself to use it, rather than rely on hasty notes on whatever's available. (bar napkins, mostly) (they don't file well) I still have an odd assortment of notes lying about the place, but most of it can also be found in the moleskine.

But what do I actually do with these notes? I don't know if it helps, or if I'm just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. And the high energy ideas, the ones that travel fast and seem to burn out quick, they don't get caught in the notebook net. These seem to be the vital thoughts. important. basic. more real, somehow, even given their ephemeral nature.

Are these profound thoughts? No. At least, I don't think so. But every now and then I pause, consider, and think to myself, "You know, if only there were an eloquent way to phrase that..."

And then something in the real world distracts me-- by the time I get back to it, the thought is gone, leaving only a ghost, the shadow of itself cast on the inside wall of my skull, a burn mark where another great idea exploded.

the design I did tonight. You may not understand all the symbols; they're from physics. yes, I am that big of a geek.

I may or may not get this tattoo done tomorrow. we'll see.

while checking their website for the football schedule this weekend (world cup qualifiers this Sunday, btw. $20 cover, but I knew that already) I found out that Fado Irish Pub has installed free wifi internet. That ups my list of bars to 2 1/2 (one place says they're installing soon). (The other confirmed bar is Churchills.)

This add-on makes the price of Guinness there a tad more bearable. I still balk at paying $5.25 a pint. I used to get pitchers for that much.

Just for the novelty I may do a "live" post from the bar some afternoon. Hopefully I'll come up with something more substantial to post, rather than just "OMG!!1! I'm at a bar lol !!1!!"

my review
their website

the tattoo design I did was much too intricate to do with the limitations of skin and ink. unless I wanted a foot-wide version done on my back...
and were willing to pay for it.

so it's back to the drawing board, to see what sort of redesign I can do that'll keep the elements I want while making the whole thing simpler and bolder. And hopefully cheaper and easier for the tattoo artist. not that cost should really be a consideration with a permanent mod like this. (but it is.)

very few things fill me with the sort of giddy pleasure I feel when I have an opportunity to sleep in--

I have a day off, but I don't realize that when I first start from sleep and realize the alarm isn't set. Oh no! Am I late for work? And then the realization: I don't have to go to work today. My face hits the pillow and it's hard not to grin, I don't have to wake up, get out of my nice warm bed, and do the awful work thing today!

such simple joy.

and now, it being something like midnight here on the east coast, I'm going to go to bed, and look forward to waking up, and turning back in. tomorrow is the day I've set aside for some serious writing, and Thursday will be my day to decompress. Friday is another work day. but tomorrow morning I'll miss seeing the sunrise, and all that lovely extra sleep will be glorious. (is it possible to enjoy an activity where you are unconscious?)

I used to post updates on the progress I'm making toward the novel... well, o.k., so I really only tried doing that for a couple of weeks. Still, I know at least a couple of people might be interested in where I'm at with that particular project:

I am having a difficult time really settling into the story, but there is still progress being made on that front-- I may be continually rewriting my opening, but rewriting still equals writing. I manage to work on the novel daily. Almost daily. Well, o.k., so maybe only a couple of days a week. (why don't you work nights and weekends and see how much you feel like tackling a special project)

All told (after subtracting some overlapping plot plots) I have about 250 pages of manuscript. (and maybe all those versions of the first chapter can still be integrated into the novel. those scenes aren't bad... they just felt wrong for chapter one) I've got a whole buncha notes. And finally, I've got my closing scene outlined, so I know where this mess is going.

That's what I have planned for the next two weeks, finishing off that final scene, typing it in. And then I'm putting the whole mess on hold, and probably not writing another word until 2005.


Why? National Novel Writing Month. (I see a confused look on your face. reminds me of a dog I used to own.) I am participating in NaNoWriMo this November, and to be considered a "winner", I've got to follow the rules: no writing until the first second after midnight on 1 Nov. And I have to write from scratch, starting a new project. So I won't be able to catch up on my current manuscript and still participate.

Not that they have a referee or anything. It's all on the honor system. But I plan to start over with a new story anyway. (following the rules for good karma, or something like that.)

Does this mean starting over with nothing? No. I can outline as much as I want before 1 Nov. I can use any genre, any characters, any setting I'd like. So, you know, all these notes I have are going to be very handy. And while this will be a 'new' novel, I wouldn't be surprised if I found some nifty way to integrate the two story lines later.

During the month of November I'll post daily (almost daily) updates on how I'm doing. And with luck, I'll manage to "win" this years NaNoWriMo. It's only 50,000 words.

care to join me?

another milestone: so I finally got around to checking my weight (which I do less frequently than I used to, even though I'm still following the 'diet') and I’m down below 170. This was my target. I made it.

--I’m not dancing around the room, but it is nice.

Amazingly, it looks like I could still lose a bit more weight. Or some more flab, I should say—I think it’s time for me to change gears and approach this not solely as a weight-loss issue, but to finally give in to vanity and consider my overall appearance. So I’ll need to exercise more, and more consistently. And since I no longer throw boxes around for a living, I may need to join a gym. start lifting weights. keep the diet but start adding weight, as weird as that may sound.

I’m not sure. The muscle thing doesn’t really fit into my self image.

Then again, the guy I see in the mirror doesn’t fit that self image either. I catch a reflection in a window (a full length reflection, not just the usual one in my bathroom mirror) and I’m shocked by how I look, and how badly my clothes fit sometimes. (baggy isn’t a good look for me…) I’m now officially a large, rather than an extra large. I have a 34 inch waist (or at least, I can fit into a pair of pants with a 34 inch waist… no room in the pockets, tho). I’m three notches in on the belt I bought as a replacement 6 months ago. (the old belt doesn’t have any notches where it fits me now). In the past three years I’ve lost 75 pounds. It doesn’t seem like much of anything when you only average a half pound a week, but it adds up.

I know you don’t really want to hear the details… and I’m at this point I’m sort of babbling, but I feel really good. I just thought I’d share.

work today finally cooperates with something a bit more social than customer service on a friday night-- I do have to work, but it's a morning shift, so I can leave work early enough to go out. More importantly, I can leave work early enough to find a parking space, which is the primary stumbling block to socializing in Buckhead. It's a nice little neighborhood (if that word can be applied to the bar district) but parking is the real sticking point. Of course, the same can be said of Midtown, and Virginia-Highlands, and... well, you know, if there are crowds there, that's the way it works.

what was my topic? Oh, yeah... since I work early today, and work late tomorrow, I'm going to take advantage of the situation and see if I can sneak in some recreation time tonight and a hangover for tomorrow. In some ways, I kind of enjoy a hangover. Yeah, I know, I must be nuts, but the occasional hangover to me is proof that you're alive. and my hangovers must be different-- the closest description I can come up with is something like the soreness you feel after a day of exercise. Once the ibuprofen kicks in you're left with a sort of fuzzy sense of well-being. I usually don't feel well, but I still feel good.

yeah, it's weird. But it may be one reason I'm such a dedicated social drinker-- there's a lack of negative consequences.

time is ticking... this entry has already taken too long. I gotta run to work.

what do you do when you're reasonably content, but have no idea why or how this set of circumstances came about?

now, I didn't say I'm happy. I'm not brimming over with that almost-manic sort of enjoyment I get on rare occasions (what was her name again?) and it's not like I've experienced a religious conversion (oh, please. those folks... well, I won't comment on that tonight, that's a whole 'nother rant). I'm just

content.

the sky isn't falling. I'm broke, but not stressed. It's been a long day and I'm tired, but not angry about work. I'm not seeing anyone, and somehow that's not really a problem anymore. at the moment, anyway.

I am. Life is. no complaints. It feels a little weird, to be honest.

it's hard to argue with the four beers already in my system, but I think I spoke too soon. The gauzy sense of well-being I felt earlier proved to be temporary. fleeting. (let me check my thesaurus) ephemeral.

it was such a nice thing, I suppose I should have known that it wouldn't last. Not that anything specific happened to dispel my good mood, and it’s not that I feel bad, necessarily; it’s just the slow, steady encroachment of reality on an otherwise good vibe.

Well… o.k., so I do have to get up at 5am tomorrow. That certainly doesn’t help. But that’s the Monday staff meeting, I knew it was coming. Some things are just too good to last.

-- you know, this blog is so self-serving. None of you care. I come up with a post like this, or the one before it, and it’s not like you’re going to get anything out of it. The bar reviews, maybe. The recipes I’ve done, now those are useful. This is just crap. Self-serving, ego-stroking crap. It’s so self involved I think it really is just a form of public masturbation. You really don’t need to be here, I’m just getting myself off. Metaphorically speaking, of course. I’m not that sick.

But the point is valid. Who wants to read about my life anyway?

this evening, I'm watching Farcape on Scifi and trying to catch up with email, NaNoWriMo, and a backlog of paperwork for the bookstore all at the same time tonight.

but, you know, that's all just surface crap. there is something else on my mind tonight. bookstore paperwork can wait until later in the week. Online forums always have been trivial. Farscape is extremely cool, but I've already initiated an investment in Farscape DVD's. I'll be able to watch this again later, with a better grounding in events-that-have-gone-before.

(of course, this shit is really cool anyway. walking into an industrial wasteland, John says, "looks like Kiss was your opening act...")

and at this point, I've switched from beer (lovely) to scotch (equally lovely, in context.) The scotch may get me in trouble before the night is over...

all this is a bluff. there is a deeper issue that depends on, well, someone else.

yeah, you wish I would update later. we'll see...

I have no idea what bug I may have picked up, but I really don't feel well. The nausea and lightheadedness is the worst; I can't even move quickly without feeling sick. Just sitting up is difficult if I try to do it suddenly.

hopefully this won't last more than a few days. if this is the flu...

[I got sick of looking at the oh-so-cute dog-in-a-sleeping-bag pic, so I deleted it]

Burning a couple of sick days at work, and taking it easy: laying on the couch, wrapped up in a sleeping bag, watching cartoons.

when the nausea goes away, I think I'll try beer and hot wings. I haven't found the bug yet that has managed to survive the Tabasco assault. (It helps with congestion, too. not that a stuffy nose is one of my symptoms.)

I feel marginally better. The only lingering symptoms include a continual headache and a sense of, um, reluctance at returning to work tomorrow. My doc (who said he wouldn't make a diagnosis over the telephone) prescribed bed rest and some vitamins. He won't say what he thought it might be, but made me promise to come in for a physical sometime in the next three months.

Hell, I don't know what’s wrong with me. I'm just glad that I'm mostly back to normal. Or maybe I’ll figure out a new normal: take it easy for a while, try not to stress, get used to feeling a bit ill every now and then.

while I was 'out', I sort of left some other parts of my life on cruise control. Hopefully I haven't made any major mistakes, or irrecoverable errors. I can pick up things at work where I left off, and hopefully I’ll be able to get back into writing sometime before November.

Other matters are more complex. (I'll figure it out)

called in to check with work; I know I'm working tomorrow but I forgot when; looks like I have to get up much too early to open the store tomorrow morning. Oh well. If it's not too busy, at least I can get caught up on paperwork.

I thought I had finally moved past homework. I figured, yeah sure, maybe I'll be back in school someday to earn a degree or three, but I thought that would be my choice, and on top of that I wouldn't be working 40 plus a week...

but then I moved up the management ladder. and what do we have here? why look, homework. This sucks.

correction-- if I were on salary, that's one thing. But they still pay me an hourly wage, and guess what: I'm not getting paid to do this stuff at home. That's the part that sucks, and blows, and other vacuum-cleaner-related metaphors. (are they vacuum cleaner related? I mean, I can think of other uses for those verbs. ...all right, all right, I won't go there tonight.)

quick checklist--
novel: don't bug me. I know I'm slacking off.
journal: I'll have time to think later this week. I'll post some real content then.
work: tomorrow AM, too freakin' early. and tuesday. and wednesday. actually, I've made the dept. schedule for the week, but haven't had a chance to post it here yet. yeah... I'll get right on that. I've got provisional schedules for the next couple of weeks as well, when I get those finalized I might go ahead and post those too.
life: not much time for one, sorry. It was a nice thought, though.

o.k., so I've got time today to put up something more interesting than yet another complaint about my life.

Here's another recipe. Burritos. I'm not going to claim this is Mexican. or even Tex Mex. Or authentic in any way whatsoever-- but it should beat the hell out of fast food tacos.

zero to eating in under an hour.

shop:
- flour tortillas. they come in packs of 6 or 10, and various sizes (do yourself a favor and go for larger ones, and thicker ones; the package should seem heavy for its size. Spanish brand names are a good sign, too)
- two cans diced tomatoes. (with peppers is nice)
- one or two cans of black beans
- one or two cans of garbanzo beans. (chickpeas, whatever you want to call 'em)
- two packages of Taco Seasoning. standard little 1oz. packet, found in the same aisle with the salsa and refried beans.
- cheese. pre-shredded is handy. whatever you like. I usually get a four-cheese blend that bills itself as "Mexican"
- Meat. a pound to a pound and a half of ground beef. Or ground turkey. (I actually prefer ground turkey)

hardware:
one skillet. A big-ass container (this recipe usually has a lot of leftovers-- I'd get a gladware or ziploc container that holds more than a gallon.) A spatula is very handy, as is a large spoon. oh, and a pasta strainer.

recommended beer:
it comes in handy 24-packs. (that's an offhand way of saying anything cheap would be fine.) Or Guinness. Guinness goes with everything.

lab procedures:

o.k., so first a note on beans: You could always cook your own from scratch, but that takes a while. Canned beans are fine, but read the labels. Salt, syrup, preservatives, water, spices--sometimes there is a lot more in there than beans. Fewer ingredients are usually better.

maybe a second note on beans: get what you like. beans is beans. I like the black bean/garbanzo mix, for the nice color contrast and the slight difference in texture.

One more thing: this will take between 2-4 of those standard size (14oz.) cans. I use 4 cans. I like beans, and as I have pointed out in similar cases: beans are cheaper than meat. enough about beans.

open all those cans o' beans, dump them into a strainer, and then rinse with cold water. Get rid of all the gunk that the beans come packed in. That's just salty water, mostly, and we don't need it. Drain well, and then dump the beans into your large bowl/container (if you mix this in the same container you'll be using for the leftovers, that's one less thing to clean.)

we'll add the tomatoes next. a note on tomatoes: buy the diced. watch which cans you're grabbing, there are all kinds of tomatoes in cans, and if you're not careful you could end up with whole stewed tomatoes.

I like to strain these too. (If you leave that liquid in, it'll just soak through the tortillas later, and drip down the front of your shirt later. We're looking for a filling, not a sauce) (We'll need to add liquid to the meat mix later, so you can save the tomato juices for that if you'd like.)

Throw your 'maters in with the beans, and add one packet of taco seasoning to the rinsed beans and drained tomatoes. Mix well. Wow, that was a lot of words to describe something that only takes 5 minutes.

In your skillet, brown the ground turkey. (or beef, whatever) When your meat is cooked, follow the instructions on the (second) taco seasoning packet: Drain the fat off, add the contents of the packet and some water. (or the tomato juices you strained off and reserved earlier)

When the meat mix simmers down (again, we're going for a fairly dry consistency--fewer drips) you add it to the bean mix, and mix everthing some more.

You're done. If you need instructions on making burritos, check the tortilla package. Trial and error, you'll figure it out. This burrito filling also works with tacos and nachos, of course. If there is anything else you like on burritos, just put it on top. Cheese is obvious. I also like to hit it with Tabasco and sour cream.

This will keep in the fridge for a while. (at least a week) It actually tastes better as leftovers-- the flavors have a chance to blend overnight.

Not only am I about to head into a fairly hectic work week--the displays in my department get their monthly changeover this week--but also later tonight, just past midnight, I get to start the grand adventure that is NaNoWriMo. For those of you who haven't been following along (or didn't bother to click the link) I'm attempting to write a 50,000 word novel in a month. The month of November, in fact. So are 20 or 30 thousand other people from all over the planet. It's a neat little thing, go and check out their site.

A little over eight hours from now, at 12:01am, November starts. And so do I. And so does the novel.

going insane isn't a requirement, but I've been told it can be handy. (possibly unavoidable, too)