You know, I'm not sure when you people started playing this game, but if you could stop, I'd appreciate it. Apparently, there are few rules (if any) and just the one way to score. Different customers take different approaches, but it seems that the object is to make some retail lackey (me, in this case) apologize for stuff that is the customers fault.

"Is this the CD you were looking for?"
[without looking] "No. I told you, I want the new Rod Stewart"
[time passes. 15 computer searches later...]
"so you wanted these 3 songs, and you're sure Rod Stewart is the artist you're looking for..." [producing exhibit A from above] "Is it *this* CD?"
"Why yes, I believe this is the one. Why couldn't you have shown me this one first?"

[*smack*]

I can't say what I'm thinking, so I end up saying "I'm sorry". Point customer.

My favorites are the folks who call on the phone, and get impatient when you're having difficulty finding, "oh, you know the one, it was on Oprah last November". Let's review: 1) you're on the couch at home 2) you have no idea of the title, author, subject, or even the *color* of the book and 3) I've got a line of customers because you refuse to hang up, even after 15 minutes. How does this conversation end? "I'm sorry"

point customer.

As a manager, I also catch situations after someone else has tried to resolve the problem--usually about 2 minutes before I would have clocked out. (How do you people know? Do you have us on monitors?) Since at this point someone else has already pissed the customer off (intentionally or unintentionally) they end up scoring points right off the bat. Even when they're wrong, blatantly, undebatably wrong, I end up saying I'm sorry and bending over backwards to fix the so-called problem. Why? Because when an idiot goes and talks to their friends, they don't say, "I was an idiot", they say "Oh, I'm never going back there again, and neither should you, because all they do is screw you over at that place..."

It's a no-win situation.

I almost never run into problems as a customer--like maybe once in the past ten years. I just don't understand how these people manage to find so many "problems", each and every week. But by the rules of the game, I still end up saying, "I'm sorry"

I haven't done a review (bar, restaurant , or otherwise) in quite a while. Hm. Maybe I need to look into that. It might be good for me to try a new place or two. Or five. The usual haunts aren't getting dull,

but maybe I am. time to shake things up.

I get to set my own work schedule. That's not really as good a deal as it sounds; I still have to work a 40 hour week, I have to write the schedule for everyone in my department, making sure we have proper coverage for the whole day, plus display set-ups, inventories, all that jazz. Dealing with time-off requests and the availability of my staff (who are part-timers with other jobs and committments) makes it a headache more often than not.

The process usually doesn't work out in my favor. I don't often get two days off in a row (no 'weekends'. sometimes it seems like the work week never ends, it's just occasionally punctuated by time off) and at least recently, I never get to do what I want.

Take the hash. This is a fun little activity I'd like to do every Saturday: a bit of running, a fair amount of drinking, and a great bunch of folks I wish I could get to know better. It's hard to really connect when you can only make it out once a month, at least anymore. I haven't been able to make a Saturday since January. I'll figure something out.

Friday night barhopping? Let me put it this way: you know when you were in high school and you couldn't score any beer some Fridays so instead you and your friends would go hang out somewhere: a parking lot, the mall, maybe drinking coffee at the bookstore and making life difficult for the poor slob stuck working Friday night?

yep. Friday nights are really a lot of fun.

I get to set my work schedule. It's like getting to pick which finger to put in a pot of boiling water--sure, you do get to pick, but what kind of choice is it? I went to the trouble of giving myself a day off this Saturday (today). I had thought I'd go running, maybe do this beer-steak-and-ice-cream night out that I've been sort of trying to set up for weeks.

but not today. I'm broke. (rent, you know).

damn, I need to plan this stuff out better.

I found out recently (about 4 hours ago) that I have some accumulated vacation time that I need to use-or-lose before the end of the month, so I guess that's a good thing--if I can figure out how to rig the department schedule so I can take the time off.

Mid-march wasn't my first choice for a vacation, but if I have to take it now, I guess I have to. I have no idea what to do, though. I'd hate to just hang out in the apartment for a week and a half.

something will turn up.

...I did manage to get out and do some running yesterday, with the assorted ancilliary activities that running with the hash entails.

I'm reminded that I need to run more often than I have been (not even weekly, recently, more like 1 day in 10) not because the run left me exhausted, but because I rather enjoyed it. Yeah, I think I may be just a bit nuts.

*checking the hit logs

47 hits yesterday. Apparently all from the same person.

it's nice to know someone is getting some use out of the archives. one of these days... years... I'll have to go back and read the archives myself. See if there is any personal growth, that kind of thing. Or not. somebody who posts on here just doesn't know when to shut up. Or when to call in an editor. Or when he is just starting to wander off topic, going off on any old tangent...

I mean, who wants to read that?  [chuckle]

Remember, the label up top says (parenthetical aside). I surprised I manage to stay on topic as often as I do.

I might have something more substantial to post later, since I have gobs of free time coming up the next 2 1/2 weeks or so, but for now I'll content myself with a quick update:

- my vacation requests went through, with a vengence. I'm scheduled to work just 6 days over the next three weeks, and right now we're working on finding people to cover 2 of those shifts this weekend, too. I would feel spoiled, but I think the fact that I haven't had any vacation for something like 11 months sort of makes up for it.

(now I'm waiting on this week's paycheck. Let me go check... nope, still hasn't deposited yet. As soon as I have some money, I can really start to enjoy this 'vacation'.)

- this wi-fi thing is cool. how did I get by for so many years without it? The only negative I can think of is having to buy some laptop batteries to extend my working time. (I meant to buy 'em months ago, but never got around to it.)

- I've got a couple of places lined up for reviews. For those of you who may not be familiar with the process, I usually visit a place three or four times before doing the write up-- so nothing right away, but there will be some new content soon. While I'm at it I'll likely update last year's pages as well.

- [I started typing some stuff on dating, but I'll save that for a later post]

- The novel is progressing. Not at anything like the speed I'd prefer, but progress all the same. (you'll know when it gives me trouble, because I'll start referring to it as the 'damn novel' again.)

that's all for now. I'll update tomorrow from the bar.

"he's a wordy s.o.b., isn't he?"
"well, yeah."
"he ever manage to hit on any truth in one of these broadsides?"
"that remains to be seen"

(Read More)

I whine too much.

I would complain some more, but I think complaining is part of the problem. I still have no idea what to do to improve the sorry state of my dating calendar, but stuff like yesterday's entry is of limited helpfulness

yeah, some introspection is good, but...

hell, if I knew an easy solution I'd have implemented it by now.

It's not a book, so maybe I shouldn't brag about insights gained not through serious study, but merely from sitting and watching-- recently, I've had the pleasure of watching BBC's "The Face", presented by John Cleese. (which was among the DVDs procured this week through Netflix, but which you might have seen on The Learning Channel)

It's all the same, and while a book tends to engage you a bit more, I can't fault good TV for being good. It's not like I'm quoting 'Friends'.

In the course of a century, humans have gone from living in a village, where we knew everyone's face, to living in a largely anonymous city. And not too much before that, we lived in even smaller communities and tribes. We used to know our neighbors. Now we live increasingly isolated lives-- with email, cell phones, easily photocopied office memos, and increasing numbers of drive-through conveniences, just how often do we see people face-to-face anymore?

One of the points Cleese and his show's producers were trying to make was on the nature of Fame: we seek out the familiar, and what's familiar now aren't our neighbors, but photographs and images of famous people. Often these people are famous for being themselves, not for any major achievement. (not famous like the Dali Lama or Nelson Mandela, but instead the Hilton sisters or Keanu Reeves)

That's a good point. It was not the need we have for the familiar, though, but this modern isolation that I really felt was the important point. The points are related, though it would be hard to say there is a definite cause-and-effect relationship; we constantly seek out a friendly face in unfriendly crowds. And when we find ourselves trapped in a crowd-- on the bus, or a theater, or standing in line-- we don't make eye contact. We carry our isolation with us.

I think this is why some aspects of the internet are so popular. It's a faceless sort of connection, but still a connection with other people. And even better, we don't need to change our isolated-but-comfortable lifestyle, because the 'net is there whenever you need it. With wifi hotspots popping up all over, you don't even need to be at home at a computer desk. Over time, we even come to call these internet acquaintances "friends".

I'm not saying this connection is any less real, or that everyone is giving up on real life in favor of the community that can be found online. (I'd say most of us partake of both, and the lines between the two are blurring more each year) But it's good to take a step back and ask yourself, "what might I be missing?"

And now, if you'll forgive me, I'm going out for lunch at a bar where everybody knows my name. (you thought beer was the only reason I love pubs?)

This entry falls into the too much information category. Some friends of mine will want to skip it. However, if you have no idea who I am, well, maybe you can get some use out of this post.

I have stopped feeling sorry for myself (at least for this week) and am moving forward with those small steps that are necessary before embarking once more into the world of dating.

Not that I have any idea who I might be dating, but better to be prepared.

edit, 19 March: This is not an inventory of things I've done, but more of a checklist of stuff I should get to over the next week or so.

- clean the apartment
- fold the laundry. (I do laundry on a regular basis, of course, but it tends to sit in a basket all week. this just adds to the regular clutter, though-- it looks so much nicer in neat folded stacks)
- clean the apartment again, this time with an eye toward spotless, not just clean. (of course the place is clean; I'm not a total slob. However, a guy's standards are not a woman's standards. So, we take a second pass at it)

in the overly-optimistic-dare-I-say-delusional-just-in-case column:
- clean set of guest towels
- spare toothbrush
- condoms
(I'm ashamed to admit, the last box of condoms I bought, um, expired. Did you know that condoms have an expiration date on them?)
- pajamas. I don't wear them, but I have noted that women like to borrow them.

and of course, the fridge.

You know that old cliché, that a guy’s fridge has like 15 condiments in it, but no real food? That’s not a cliché, it’s true. So I cleaned out the fridge. Now, what should a guy keep in his fridge? (as part of that just-in-case bit above)

- bottle of Chardonnay. (you can stock champagne, too, if you like, but a nice bottle of wine will do for most celebrations, and champagne seems a bit much) (kind of like having cognac on hand-- sure, it’s nice, but it’s over-the-top unless you’re "the Ladies' Man"
- fresh fruit. Always nice.
- breakfast. With a few basics, you can be prepared to cook anything from omelets to french toast. If you can do eggs benedict, too, more power to ya.
- Beer. Not every chick digs wine. A selection from Guinness to Lite, in as many increments as you feel like bothering with. Some of those non-beers-in-beer-bottles (you know the brands) can’t hurt either, but there is the drawback that no one will drink them, unlike most beer, which is just nice to have around.
- One quick dinner for two. In case you want to skip the restaurant and just stay in.

Of course, keeping a stocked fridge is going to be an ongoing process, but it has the side benefit that you can eat without resorting to drive-throughs. Also, I went out and bought several bottles of wine and a wine rack today. Nothing fancy, but it’s nice to have some wine in the house. I’m not sure when I’ll get the chance to drink it though. I can drink a whole bottle myself. While that has it's own meagre charms it's not quite the same as sharing.

And while I did clean out the fridge, I haven’t had a chance to stock all the provisions yet. I suppose I should see about getting a date, too. A bottle of wine is easier to pick up, though.

Why all the preparations? I don’t know, to be honest. It’s part of the process, I guess, moving on to something new. It’s been a while... a few simple steps taken makes me feel a bit more confident— if I do happen to meet someone, randomly, tonight, whenever... I know that I can take her home at some point (3rd date? is there a protocol for this?) with no worries.

But am I just wasting my time? I guess I’ll know in the next couple of months.

I mentioned wine, I suppose I can give you a heads up:

Coppola Diamond Chardonnay, ~$13

You know the filmmaker? Yep, that Coppola. I guess a winery is a nice hobby. They also do a couple of nice table wines (known simply enough as Rosso and Blanco) but I'm not as familiar with the label's varietals.

OK, back a step: I'm not sure how much you know about wine. A varietal is a wine made from a single type of grape, and have names you'll recognize, like Chardonnay and Zinfandel. A 'table' wine is a blend of several different types of grapes, and can also be called a Meritage, or named for a particular region, like Bordeaux or Burgundy.

Table wines tend to more consistent, year to year, and can be said to be more balanced, since the winemaker can adjust blends to make up for deficiencies. However, the California wine industry has been so successful in promoting varietal wines that 'table' wines used to be considered inferior by some consumers. This is changing, though.

Since I've yacked so much about table wine, I suppose I should tell you which ones I bought.

Folie a Duex Winery, Menage a Trois, ~$10

The name was an attention grabber, I admit. Of course, I know the winery too. In fact, I've met the owners. (yes, I'm bragging. No, I don't think they'd remember me-- they might recognize my last name though.) I have (well, had) family in the Napa Valley, so I've been around to a few wineries, tried the product, etc etc.

"Folie a Duex" is a psychiatric term for a shared delusion. The owners were psychologists, and when they gave up their practice to open a winery, they thought the term was applicable. They're good folks, they can have some of my money.

This is a white table wine, a blend of three varietals. They also do a red wine with the same name. If I like this one, I think I'll also try their red.

Cline Cellars, Red Truck Wine, ~$10

This one I bought for the label. eh, there are worse reasons. If nothing else, I think I can use this for a marinade (london broil, 2 cups red wine, 1/4 cup basalmic vinegar, rosemary, salt, black peppercorns. marinate 12-24 hours, grill, slice across the grain, serve with a nice horseradish sauce) (oh, OK: 1 cup sour cream, 1 tbs. ground horseradish, white pepper-- this sauce can also be combined with sautéed onions, though the addition of sweet onions and butter makes it a completely different animal.) (I suppose I should cross-post this on dinnerbell now.

Of course, I plan to try a glass too. If it's any good, I'll have to buy some more, and try some of Cline's other offerings.

Fetzer Valley Oaks Reisling, ~$9

I like German white wines. (see the entry on part of my drinking history for some hints why.) I also like the German varietals no matter where they may be grown, so instead of $25 bottles, I can get away with something cheaper.

This one I bought for me, so I may just end up drinking the whole bottle some evening. eh, If I have to, I have to.

Good wine doesn't have to be expensive-- and if you match it with good food, I doubt you'll care about the difference between a $10 and $30 bottle.

What do I do when I have time off but can't afford to do anything? I stay in and cook:


Mozzarella Salad
serves 4 as a side, or 1-2 as a lunch entrée

shop:
- 8 oz. fresh mozzarella cheese. this is sort of the point, so don't balk at price on this one. Also, you want a soft hunk, not a bag of string cheese sticks; don't get the 'low-moisture' types. Sorrento is one brand
- 4 roma tomatoes
- fresh basil
- green leaf or boston lettuce
- Italian salad dressing. (make your own or buy a bottle)

lab procedures:

I had this first in an Italian restaurant, and it wasn't much else but tomato, basil, cheese, and a drizzle of vinegar and oil.

That's good too, but if it's called a salad, most people expect lettuce. Wash the lettuce, tear it into chunks, set this up as a bed on a plate. Slice your tomatoes and the fresh Mozzarella, add as much basil as you feel is necessary. (about 1 leaf per slice of tomato/mozzarella, give or take)

Dress with a vinaigrette and toss a bit to cover. This is all about simple ingredients, so even store-bought dressing can't really detract from the overall taste.

last night's dinner, if you're interested:

Pork Chops a la Blenheim
serves 4

shop:
- 2 lbs. pork chops. (4 chops, roughly)
- 1 cup (or so) Italian salad dressing
- 1 medium sweet onion
- 1 apple (An 'eating' apple, not a 'baking' apple; see my notes below. Your onion and apple should be roughly the same size.)
- 1 lb. sauerkraut
- several tbs. of butter
- salt, pepper, garlic powder.
- some beer or wine. whatever you're drinking.

hardware:
one large skillet
one pan: a roasting pan, or something similar.

lab procedures:

Marinate the chops in some Italian salad dressing. That major store brand is fine; we don't need anything fancy. A couple hours would be great, but if you're in a hurry, just give them as much time as you can.

Preheat your oven to 350°.
Put a skillet on medium heat.

Slice your onion and apple. For the apple, you should be thinking apple-pie-type thickness, for the onion, more of a philly-cheese-steak thing. Sauté the apple and onion together in butter.

Now, when I went to the grocery store, I forgot the butter. For just a second, I thought, "well, maybe olive oil..." For a second. No, you need butter. I went back to the store to get butter, and the cashier at Publix agreed with me. In this case accept no substitutes. I threw in 3 tbs., you might use more, but I wouldn't skimp here.

When the onions go translucent, you can turn up the heat a bit. A little caramelization is good. You'll be cooking this until the apples go soft. When they do, set this batch aside and get back to your chops. (you don't need to clean the skillet yet. Those little onion bits are fine) Place the skillet back on some high heat.

Remove the chops from the marinade. (get them fairly dry, but you don't need to reach for paper towels or anything) Apply some salt, pepper, and garlic and then sear the chops in your hot skillet, about 2 1/2 minutes a side.

When the chops are browned on each side, lay them out in your roasting pan. Put the apple/onion mixture on top of the chops, and then cover that with the sauerkraut. (I like kraut. I used two pounds, YMMV.) We're not quite done with that skillet, though--there is still some good stuff there. Deglaze with beer, wine--o.k., water if that's what you're drinking--and pour the pan drippings over the top of everything else in the roaster. Bake (well, braise) for 45 minutes at 350° (this is why we preheated the oven)

While the chops finish off, we've got time to look at side dishes. This would be really great with potato pancakes. When I've got a really great potato pancake recipe I'll get back to you. I went with mashed potatoes last night (premade in this case; buy one get one free at Publix) and the Mozzarella Salad listed below.

This was a new recipe that I just came up with; it turned out just a bit tart on my first go-- but I used granny smiths rather than a sweeter apple. Get something you'd eat-- OK so that's bad advice, I've been known to eat a granny smith out of hand-- Think apple sauce. Granny smiths would not make a good apple sauce. Or, if you do go with a tart baking apple (maybe you don't want the apple to go to mush on you, a texture thing, right?) you could crumble some brown sugar on top before baking-- no more than a couple tablespoons. It would also be good to rinse and drain the sauerkraut (which I didn't on my first attempt-- which added vinegar and more tartness to an already tart dish) and top off with a cup of white wine or water instead of the kraut's liquid. With a sweet wine, you could maybe skip the sugar-- either way, this recipe needs a little tinkering.

Of course, even as a 'failure', I thought it was still rather tasty.

For those Tech students/alumni here in town (sorry Bob) I'll be watching the game at McTighe's today starting around 3 or so this afternoon. If you live in the northern suburbs and were looking for a place, try Frankie's, where a fairly large GT contingent will show up for just about anything on TV--or at least they used to. I bet a friendly crowd will be in there today.

some say the glass is half empty
some say the glass is half full

I'm thinking "Water? Who put water in here?"

yeah. it's a bad joke.

If I felt like randomly doing too much math, I suppose I could go back and read my own blog, try to remember if I was feeling good or bad that particular day, and then graph my own ups-and-downs.

I think I may be on some sort of cycle. Not manic-depressive; my own moods are of a much milder sort. I'm not sure how scientific that sort of exercise might be, and it seems like too much trouble anyway.

The one thing I have noted is that when I'm depressed, I'm less likely to drink--with, I will admit, one recent deviation that only proved to me how little the beer will help lift my spirits if they're already down. The beer is an amplifier of what's already there-- the half-full days feel better, the half-empty days just get worse.

Somewhere in the middle, if I could ever manage to plot a middle course, I guess is where my life would be without mood swings and chemicals. I get a glimpse, occasionally, but never a clear view of 'normal' life. If anything is 'normal'

I've had a lot of time to think this through, both at the bar and amid more mundane surroundings. Oddly, I seem to find clarity when I'm out running. (somewhere between mile 2 and 3, when clarity gives way to pain and exhaustion) Did I waste 15 years of my life, before I decided to lose weight?

Time spent in the bar is never wasted. squandered, maybe. Spun out like gold thread, the minutes each giving their all before dying slowly along with countless alcohol-soaked brain cells. Beautiful, ephemeral, classically tragic. I don't regret the many evenings spent in a bar, or the years spent at the old BG. I still miss that place.

The real loss is not the time spent buzzed and bleary in so many smoky bars, but the time spent on the couch, watching TV--What memories do I carry away from that? Who did I meet, what did we talk about?

I don't get the years back, but I'm tempted to throw out the damn TV. And maybe add another 3 miles to my schedule each week.

I've been back at work for a total of 4 hours now after a lovely vacation, and I've already had enough. You know, this work thing, it's not really working out. If you could just make sure my paycheck gets mailed to me each week for the next five years or so, that'd be great. Oh yeah, and my medical benefits, those would be nice too.

I'll call if I need anything else.

(wouldn't it be nice? as it is, I gotta get back to work)

I'm not always in control of my emotions, particularly strong emotion.
I am in control of my actions.

The disconnect between the two, this causes me a great deal of anguish.

Emotion without visible outlet. Emotion without release, internalized, reflected back upon itself. I burn on the inside, at least until I can cool down again.

Burning, but not with anger. Hell, I should be angry. I'm not. she says that...

who cares what she says? nothing I can do will help.
I feel lost.

[making up for maudlin self serving crap by posting something useful]
Here's an article from Bachelor Living, the only magazine aimed at an audience that won't bother to read it.

(magazine tagline: "martha is our bitch." alternate tagline: "stuff your mama didn't teach you." Actually, she did, you just weren't listening.)

Today on our little program: How the common urban bachelor cleans his bathroom. Or you could say, the really lazy way to clean a bathroom.

You will need:
- Some cleanser, preferably with bleach. (you've lived with your microbes a lot longer than I have, you tell me-- how much disinfectant do you need? My brand: Clorox Clean-Up 32oz. spray bottle)
- dishwashing soap. (Joy Lemon Liquid; or, whatever you got)
- At least 6 beers.
- Something to watch on TV. We're not really working here.
- a sponge
- a toilet brush (unless you want to reach down in there...)
- some 'clean' cloths. I use terry-cloth bar towels, purchased at the rate of a half dozen for a couple bucks, readily available from your home improvement warehouse (usually in the paint section)
- random night when you don't have a date. (yeah, yeah, I know; there are so many. pick one)

On with the business:

Sink and counter: Spray, wipe with a damn damp sponge, wipe with a dry cloth. Easy so far, right? Take a break, grab a beer, you've earned it.

Floor: same procedure. (if your bathroom is that big, buy a mop. Mine ain't so big)

Shower Curtain: take it down, then throw it in your clothes washer with a good squeeze of dishwashing liquid. Obviously, you won't put this in the dryer, but a trip through the wash cycle takes all the soap scum off (along with whatever other things you might be growing-- dude, clean the shower a bit more often) with absolutely no effort. unless you count the taking-down-then-re-hanging bit.

shower & tub: OK. This will take a bit more effort, obviously. Make sure the beer is cold. Spray down all surfaces. Open a beer, sit down on the couch, watch TV and wait for the next commercial break. And then, well, open another beer and wait for another commercial break. The bleach needs time to work, right?

When you get back to it, you'll need to scrub everything down with a damp sponge. This should generate some foam; you know, if you didn't get the sponge to soap up on the first wipe-down, you probably didn't spray everything down with enough cleanser. Rinse the sponge with cold water as much as you need to, keep wiping down surfaces, and remember-- your TV show is coming back on soon.

Don't spend all night at this. You can always take a break, crack a beer, and wait for the next commercial. After the scrubbing bubbles do their job (wait-- the bubbles are a different brand, aren't they?) you'll want to rinse the shower and tub. The easiest way to do this is to strip down and take a shower. Hey, you could probably use a shower anyway. (If not, then your timing is wrong)

I apologize to everyone who suddenly got an image of me naked. Me. Naked. [evil cackle] Take that, guys. You knew this wouldn't all be beer and skittles, didn't you? [evil chuckle]

toilet: note-- I don't care what sort of schedule you keep on cleaning your bathroom. But however often you get around to the shower, you should probably hit the toilet about three times as often. common sense.

This works a lot like cleaning the sink, except with a beer break. Spray down all surfaces: bowl, lid, seat, sides-- dude, it's your toilet, you should know better than most. Then, grab a beer, park it on the couch and wait for a convenient commercial. Scrub the bowl and flush, and then spray it again. And hey, would you look at that, it's time for TV and another beer. Then, coming back for the second pass, wipe down all surfaces with a damp sponge, and follow up with a dry cloth. (these cloths, you can throw in the laundry basket after a few passes. Once through is a heroic effort, no need to stretch things.)

And we're done. Questions from the audience? Yes, Jimmy--

"Yeah, um, Prof? Do you need to do all this all on the same night?"

Fuck no. Next question.

"Yes, Professor B.? Um, is it all right if I use your procedures, too?"

Sally, I know we called this the "bachelor" living segment, but there's no reason to restrict this to the dumber sex. I think you'll be fine.

"Do I have to drink the beer?"

No. But I encourage you to do so. Cleaning sucks, enjoy yourself. There's another question in the back.

"um. yeah. Hypothetically, let's say you haven't cleaned the bathroom since you moved into the apartment."

Sick, but OK--

"Is there some sort of intensive program I, um-- our hypothetical person might try?"

Bleach is good. A cleanser with bleach, also good. If you're moving out and you want to get your security deposit back-- good luck. Try a variety of products, just remember, don't cross the streams. Acids don't mix with bases, read the labels on your cleaning products.

One more question?

"yes, sir. How often do you clean your bathroom?"

would you look at that? we're all out of time for this week...

you know, "maudlin self serving crap" might be a good name for my whole web journal. I'm rather partial to (p.a.) though. I just like it. Maybe I should go register that domain name.

(either one; maudlincrap.com is probably open, too)

The year used to start on 1 April, at least under some system: Call this a new year's resolution.

I realized something the other night: The bar used to be a venue, not a motive.

Les me eggsplain:

Back in the day, and we're talking, roughly, the whole damn 90s, I would go out to play trivia, or to watch the local sports team valiantly strive against the evil competition (and lose, but that's a different rant). The bar was just a place, like a friends house.

And into the naughts (2000-2003, & most of 2004; incidentally, have we figured out what we're calling this decade yet?) I was still in that habitual pattern, though I would occasionally go to a bar for a three-and-out (a term I might have used here before; 3 beers and maybe an appetizer before going home and doing somthing else with my evening) because quite a few bartenders were my friends, and I enjoyed hanging with them.

And something darker started to happen. The bar became the reason for me to go out, and not just a place to go to. I wasn't necessarily friends with the bartender, but with the other regulars. (Danger Will Robinson!) I didn't go to play trivia, or for other reasons, I went because it was a payday and I wanted to be in a bar.

I don't really play bar trivia at all anymore. This warning sign should have registered with me much sooner.

I hate to say it, but McTighes is officially off my list. I'm not going there anymore.

OK, this was coming. The owner is an asshole; I've hated him for years. It just took me a while to figure out what other kinds of politics were going on behind the scenes. (I should have caught a hint, like, 10 months ago. But I go there to drink beer, that's an extenuating circumstance if I ever heard one)

Since Kat left (fired 2 days before she was going to quit to move to Boston; like I said, owner=asshole) (I miss you Kat! I got your new number from Lynn, I'll call soon.) I really should have known there wasn't a whole lot left to keep me coming back. Doug and Fess are still good guys, I hate to abandon good bartenders completely, but the dynamic at that joint is just bad for me. And Doug will be leaving soon for Florida, new place, new managers job. Good for him.

"it's not you, it's me." I have to stop, reflect, consider, and rediscover the good things about going out to a bar, without this other recent baggage that I either picked up or someone dumped on me. It's not healthy. I need new outlets.

I resolve to never step into McTighes again.


It's just as well I already started to do research on other places. I think unless there is some sort of event, or trivia (I used to really enjoy trivia) I won't really be found in a bar (randomly) again.

(query: Now, I'm still what most people would call an alcoholic; is this really a step forward? screw you guys, I don't care. I'm doing this because it feels right to me)

I think at least one problem I have when it comes to writing fiction is that it is hard for me to carry a single project all the time. I think at least half my generation (and definitely most folks younger, and everyone under 8) has some form of ADD. I blame sugar, caffiene, and Tv commercials. (Why yes, I would like that caramel tripple frappaccino I just saw advertised... )

I don't know how others cope with mild ADD, but I multitask. (Maybe not true multitasking-- I should say, I usually have at least two thoughts going on in my head at the same time. Which occasonally surfaces in my writing here, with the use and overuse of parenthetical asides.) At least, I multitask at work, and while doing menial tasks around the home, and while surfing El Internet. But not so much while I'm trying to write fiction.

so it's worth a try.

I've always had ideas on the back burner. I guess I should try juggling them all at once instead:

"Shards of Moonlight", aka The Damn Novel

The fantasy novel. My magnum opus. (or some crap like that) and up to this point, written in discontinuous bits when I can, but mostly just an exercise in adding to the ever-growing voluminous notes. Actual progress on a single narrative line remains to be seen; I have 300 pages of notes, nine first chapters, and another 150 pages of scenes that have been (roughly) written, but still don't quite hang together as a novel. I do, however, have a lovely map. (some scenes as currently written are even contradictory, but at this point I delete nothing. I can't know now what might be salvaged later.) This is still the project I pour my hopes into. I know there are 4 novels at least to be mined from the notes already, and maybe someday I can also make some money by selling the notes themselves.

"28 Conversations with 3 Bartenders"

This one I know I can write, because it will be very much like the field reports/confessionals that I post to the web journal currently. I'm pulling together ideas and notes for this one now, and will write it for NaNoWriMo this November. This will be published as written to my tabulas, so y'all will get to read it. It will be fiction, even if loosely based on at least a couple people I know. [wink wink, nudge nudge]

"the Harlequin Project"

There are two possibilities here. I need to make some money off of writing. correction: I'm writing anyway. query: Is there some way to make money while I do it? conclusions: freelance magazine work--which is still a possibility--or maybe just maybe I can churn out some pulp bodice-rippers for Harlequin Romance. So, in the interim between now and NaNoWriMo, I'm going to research and write a romance.

I did say two possibilities. Even if I don't manage to sell a finished romance manuscript, a tounge-in-cheek description of the effort should make for a fairly amusing non-fiction book. (with luck, I can sell both)


Divide and conquer. Maybe less than half my attention is exactly what my writing needs.